Dear College Board, I'm Really Not That Interesting But...

After spending half of my weekend touring St. Olaf College, I realized how much work college is.

Understandably, high school is a lot of work (depending on which classes you take). College is hard (depending on which classes you take). Actually getting into college? That's another matter entirely.

Now, the common app is supposed to be easy. Less work with a broad spectrum of colleges that use the app. True? Yes. Any less work? In theory. Thank you to whomever created the common app, but I still have A LOT of work to do.

For instance, it took three phone calls to figure out a) what my social security number is and b) what teaching degree my father received. Three phone calls for 2/29324628374629384729 parts of that app. Almost there! Maybe by the time I've turned eighty this gosh dang application will be finished.

And then there's the family section. How many siblings do you have? First name, middle initial, last name? Are they still living? What grade are they in? How old are they? I ran into a problem at the point where I put down two of my three siblings as deceased...when they are quite alive.

Have you ever been convicted of a felony? You answer either yes or no, but you are not required to explain what that felony was. Doesn't that seem a little odd? Apparently a felony is a felony, so don't bother applying for college if you have been convicted. I almost wanted to click the little "yes" button just to see what would happen :)

Then you add in academics, extracurriculars, awards, jobs held, supplements, and the world is ready to explode. Errrm, my brain, that is. Oh and do not forget the essay! My mother has been riding my back about getting the essay done for the past month and a half. All I need is a topic. The last choice on the essay section: topic of your own choice. Oh college board, thank you for being so considerate. Now I'll spend the next two weeks trying to think of a topic of my choice.

Ten bucks says the topic of my choice isn't all that interesting. What would you like me to write about?
How about I tell you about reading books. No? Okay umm...dancing? Singing? Working a job? I'm really not that interesting. Rather boring really. Someone should create a website of all the interesting things one could ever write about for a college app essay. My sanity would appreciate it.

And being a white chick from the middle of Minnesota doesn't really help; there are no scholarships for being a white girl. If I happened to be an "Alaskan Native" the tables will have turned, but alas, I am not.

Long story short? Jump on your college apps. They're going to take you longer than that TV show you put them off for. Oh, and be interesting. If you come from an interesting country or have an ethnic heritage different from that of the rest of us, congrats. You're officially pretty cool in the eyes of the college board. For the rest of us, we'll just spend our time trying to come up with a creative essay topic.

Happy app-ing.