today, one year ago

today, one year ago

I wrote my name on a purple star and stuck it on top of the other Carleton and St. Olaf stars
I laughed at how many people were trying to cram their stars onto the tiny college town of Northfield
I stepped back and looked at this bright yellow map, full of our futures
and I didn't know what I was getting myself into

today, one year ago

I "officially" became an Ole
I was "officially" going to St. Olaf, college, something beyond high school
and it was within my grasp

today, one year ago

I ate cake and marveled over the fact that college was a thing
that college was a thing and I was going to be attending it in the fall
I didn't know all that could happen within a year

today, one year ago

I never imagined that I'd declare my dance major and fall even more in love with dance
I never imagined the people I'd meet
I hung my hope on the attractive college boys
that hopefully existed even though they weren't commenting on the St. Olaf Class of 2017 page
I was scared and excited and in awe of what the future could and would be
but I was anxious about leaving my loved ones and friends and mentors

today, one year ago

I could sorta-kinda imagine myself lounging in my dorm room drinking peach tea
I wanted senior year to be done and I wanted to get on with my life
because now it was "officially" possible

today, one year ago

I didn't realize all this first year would put me through.
I didn't realize how many beautifully amazing people I would meet
I didn't realize that I would do more self-discovery than anyone would ever want to do
I didn't realize that college would try me in ways that I couldn't imagine

today, one year ago

all I wanted was the future, to be in college, away from high school, moving on with my life
I wasn't aware that I might struggle
I might struggle to find the "right" friends, to maintain relationships, to take care of myself
I would struggle with my inner demons, but with the most support I've ever received

today, one year ago

I committed to St. Olaf
and I know it is the right place for me
I know these are my people and this is my niche and this is where I belong
I didn't know how fast time would fly, but boy did it fly
because now,
today,
one year later,
I'm here.